Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

Did you hardly get any sleep last night?

Are you about to lose it on your kids?

Or maybe you already did?

Are your kids being exceptionally hard today?

Does today just suck no matter what you seem to do?

Maybe you feel guilty for throwing your own tantrum, or your mental health is on the decline, or maybe there are circumstances that are simply out of your control. 

Whatever the reason, we can still end this day on a positive note!

I understand, mama. Let’s turn your day around.

*Looking for an amazing bed-time routine to reset and be totally ready for tomorrow? Read this!

Know That You Are Not Alone

Let me start by assuring you that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed, stressed, insane, exhausted, lonely, fed up, stretched too thin, frustrated, and even angry. 

We all know that being a mom is hard and we’re all just trying to do our best. But despite our best efforts, we all still have our moments. Yes, even the moms who seem to have it all together.

Here’s one thing I want you to realize: none of us have it all together.

You’re not incompetent or “less-than” if you feel like you are losing your mind. You don’t need to beat yourself up for it and my gosh, don’t compare your worst to other people’s best.

Breathe

You’ve probably heard it before, so I’ll just quickly remind you to breathe. There’s a reason why breathing techniques are emphasized so much when talking about stress, anger, and mental health in general: because it does actually help.

It’s so simple, but I feel so silly doing it when I’m seeing red. My kid has had to remind me to just pause for a second to take some deep breaths! Funny, I’m trying to teach them to regulate their emotions…

When I’m feeling particularly reluctant, I’ll just close my eyes wherever I’m at and try to focus solely on taking 5 deep breaths with my belly, not so much my chest. Super simple.

But if you want to learn some great breathing techniques to reduce stress, watch this.

Don’t Shove These Feelings Down In Attempt To Prevent The Explosion

Let those emotions out, girl! Pushing them down will make the explosion worse down the road, like pressure building in a soda can.

You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to punch your pillow and scream into it. Try closing your eyes, placing a hand on your chest, and telling yourself that it’s okay to feel this way.

If you feel that you’re struggling with letting these emotions go, write (or type)! Get it all out of your head and down on some paper. 

Put Yourself In Time-Out

Sometimes, I feel like such a horrible mom for going to my room and locking the door while my kids cry, even scream at the door. I swear they’ve almost broken the door down a couple of times.

On top of my rising anger, I would add intense guilt by asking myself, ‘Am I neglecting my kids right now?’, ‘Am I screwing them up for life by “neglecting” them?!’, ‘Am I a horrible mom?!’. The answer to those questions is no.

Which is worse? Freaking out at your kids? Or locking them out of your room for 5 or so minutes so that you can collect yourself and come out better able to keep the explosion at bay?

Your kids will be fine without you for a few minutes and will actually benefit overall from your time-out. Just make sure the environment is safe for them to be alone for that time, like turning the stove off and making sure the knife wasn’t left out on the counter, for example.

Use the TV to keep them entertained if you have to!

Try some of these ideas to help collect yourself while in time-out:

Practice Gratitude

Whenever anger starts to rear its ugly head, start listing as many blessings in your life as you can, either in your head, out loud, or on paper. I actually just had to do this last night so I know it can be hard.

Start with the obvious; the fact that we’re alive, our families, our husbands, our kids (sometimes we have to remind ourselves!), a roof over our heads, our bodies, our health, the food we have to eat…

Then don’t stop when you run out of the easy ones!!

Push yourself to think of as many things as you can that you’re thankful for. You’ll think of some things that you may have never really thought about before.

Can a bad mood really last very long while looking around and realizing how extremely blessed we really are?

Look In The Mirror And Tell Yourself That You’ve Got This!

Do this until you believe it! It’ll get you in a better mindset.

Some other things you can tell yourself are:

“I’m a good mom.”

“I’m going to turn this day around.”

“I can be calm and compassionate with my children.”

“I can keep my peace while dealing with this.”

“Today is not forever.”

“I can handle this without getting stressed / overwhelmed.”

“Being a mom is hard, but I can do hard things!”

Meditate Or Do Yoga

Do this during your time-out or with the kids! You decide.

Maybe incorporate some essential oils! When I’m in my own time out and I choose to meditate, I’ll rub the Balance blend from DoTerra on my feet and I feel that it really helps! I also love to use lavender, ylang ylang, and wild orange as a pick-me-up.

Bring up a guided meditation or an easy yoga video on YouTube. There are some really great ones for just you or for the kids if you choose to involve them.

Feel free to include them in an activity that is calming for everyone and watch them try to twist their little bodies into their own versions of the yoga poses. You may just get a good laugh!

There are also really cute books out there with fun yoga poses for kids like this one!

Call A Friend

I hope you have someone you can call who will just listen to you. Fellow moms know the struggle and friends who don’t have kids can absolutely understand that being a mom has its huge challenges sometimes.

They can show you compassion and validate your feelings. Or… maybe you need someone to tell you you’re being irrational… 

It’s okay to vent in healthy ways. It helps clear your mind and work through what you’re feeling.

Reconnect with your kids

Sometimes I need to just reconnect with my kids when I’m in a bad mood to remind myself how stinkin’ cute they are!

Other than meditating or doing yoga with them, also try:

• Asking them questions about what their favorite things are and writing down their answers
• Asking them about their favorite memory
• Getting the coloring books out and printing off some of those calming adult coloring pages for yourself, like mandalas
• Asking them for a hug
• Reading a book with them

Be Open And Honest With Your Children

You know, it’s perfectly ok to tell your children what is happening within you. It’s even okay to cry in front of them.

I’m pretty open with mine about the fact that sometimes my brain doesn’t work right and I get really sad and irritable sometimes because of it; not that that’s an excuse, because it’s not.

It’s no secret that our kids see us angry sometimes, but that can ultimately be healthy for them and good learning opportunities depending on how we handle that anger and how we act when we do make mistakes.

I’ll tell my kids when I’m starting to get overwhelmed or frustrated. Kids who are a little older can understand this concept well, especially when being exposed to this kind of honesty from an early age.

My 5-year-old responds pretty well to this. I’ve explained that I don’t want to get to a point where I’m angry and yelling and when I express these feelings, it means that I need them to work with me by trying to listen and cooperate. It doesn’t work all the time, but a lot of the time.

This will teach our children that they can be open and honest with us when they’re experiencing their own big feelings and they observe how we respond to negative emotions. We can turn these situations into opportunities to teach and bond.

APOLOGIZE

Speaking of teaching our children, when we do make mistakes and lose our patience with them, we need to show them what true sympathy and remorse is.

We unfortunately can’t take back what’s been done, but we can do our best to make things right.

The guilt that comes with offenses made against our children can tear us apart, but don’t let that shame and embarrassment keep you from expressing your regret and sorrow to them. I’m amazed at my children’s ability to forgive, though I almost always feel that I don’t deserve it.

I’m so thankful that our relationships can still thrive because of our dedication to build, rebuild, and maintain a strong, healthy bond with them and because of their incredible willingness and ability to give us some grace.

Don’t Touch Them

When I’m really upset with the kids, I have a rule to not touch them at all until I’m calm, even if I think I can do it gently.

What I’m saying is that when I’m angry, it’s too tempting to turn to spanking. Or, when I place my hands on their shoulders, it’s hard to keep myself from squeezing without even thinking first. 

People differ greatly on this topic but whether you believe in spanking (within limits) or not, if you’re ever tempted to in the heat of the moment or to hurt your child in any way, just don’t touch them at all.

Having this rule in our minds greatly reduces any chance of us doing something we’ll deeply regret later. 

Last Thoughts

You can get through this day, my friend. You really can. And hopefully with these tips, you can still finish the day with peace in your home and with sanity intact!

See what works best for you to turn your day around and remember that this day is not forever. I’m rooting for you!!

If you found this post helpful, share it with a mom friend! I guarantee she’ll need it one of these days 😉
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