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Ahh, bedtime. We crash into bed, utterly exhausted, having had a looong day of cooking, cleaning, giving snacks, comforting, kissing owies, reading kids’ books, and serving our littles in every way we can.
Although our job is quite rewarding, we often end the day with our energy at 0 and upon finally arriving at the time we have to ourselves, we are too tired to rejuvenate in any way.
Soon we become burned out and forget ourselves. We become not only physically exhausted, but mentally depleted. We begin to resent this vicious cycle we’re in and struggle to find the energy we need to be the best mom we can be.
Even when we get some well-deserved time to hit the refresh button, we return to the mundane duties of everyday mom-life not feeling refreshed at all.
We’re still irritable with our kids, still struggling to have the motivation to do all of the chores, and find hardly any fulfillment in it all.
We’re just… tired. All the time.
We ache for relief and that joy that comes with motherhood. We want to feel energized and ready to give our kids the best care that we can give. We want to savor this time when our sweet littles are young and we don’t want to take it for granted.
But when we are in a state of utter exhaustion, that all becomes harder and harder.
Well, bedtime routines help children, right? Then why wouldn’t it be important for us?!
Thankfully, I’ve found a way that helps me unwind, make the most of that much needed me-time, and end the day on a positive note, even if I feel like the day didn’t go well.
And let me tell you. It has made such a difference! This may not be a fix-all, but I am much more able to rise in the morning feeling ready and able to face the day; ready to take advantage of the precious time that I have with these children of mine rather than feeling like I want to hide from all of my responsibilities.
Let me help you find a bedtime routine for you, the burned out mom, that will help you finally feel mentally refreshed.
Invest in your sleeping space
Make this environment as comfortable and happy as possible. You can slowly invest in little (or big) things to make the atmosphere a sanctuary where you can retire and truly relax.
It took some time to get to this point, but when I climb into bed, I can’t help but smile because of the improvements made here and there over time.
Get things like a candle you love. I recommend this one! It smells amazing, oh my gosh. I just finished their Joy & Laughter scent and am waiting for Balance and Harmony to arrive any day now. The best part? It has amazing reviews and is super affordable! https://amzn.to/3uhzVjB
I also recommend investing in some soft sheets like these ones by Sheex. They are a little more of an investment than a candle, but they are sooo worth it. They are crazy soft and stretchy and hold up incredibly well over time. https://amzn.to/2XRwMLx
Some more ideas for things to get to create a restful atmosphere are:
- An amazing pillow
- A nice mattress. Don’t settle for less on this one. Prepare to really invest in the perfect mattress. Trust me, you won’t regret splurging on something you use every. day.
- An essential oil and a diffuser (more on this below)
- A sleeping mask
- A humidifier
- Super comfortable pajamas
- An air spray with lavender in it
- A fluffy comforter. Mine makes me feel like I’m being hugged by a cloud. And I got it on sale at Bed Bath and Beyond!
- Anything else you can think of to make sure you can make this space, like I said, a sanctuary.
Take a shower or a bath
I know that not everyone likes to take showers at night, but I do because my kids get up too early for me to peacefully take one in the morning. But really, that’s okay with me because I love taking showers and have incorporated that into my own nighttime ritual. They are so relaxing to me.
Here’s an important part though!
It’s not just a routine shower. Make the bathroom as dark as possible to where you can just barely still see what you’re doing. This makes the environment sooo relaxing!
All the bright lights do is keep you alert and awake and they don’t help you turn your brain to “bedtime” mode.
This is the perfect time to light a candle (like the amazing one linked above) or by using one of those push lights that run on batteries and have a sticky backing so you can put it anywhere. I use these ones and they last way longer than any others that I’ve tried: https://amzn.to/3CQnRsH
And what is a relaxing bath or shower without some bath bombs or shower bombs/steamers?! What a way to treat yourself! And there are so many out there that are infused with essential oils, which are so great for healing for both body and mind.
I’m not much of a bath person, but I’ve bought these bath bombs as gifts for loved ones multiple times and have only heard amazing things about them! https://amzn.to/3EZXQcj
Mindfulness and positive affirmations
You can of course do this at a separate time during your routine but for me, this goes hand in hand with my shower. While I’m washing up (and in the dim candlelight), I like to take big, deep breaths and just feel myself breathe.
Close your eyes and start to breathe slowly and deeply. Be present with your breaths. Meditate. Feel where your breaths are coming from. In through your nose, and out through your mouth.
Imagine that your lungs are two balloons. You want to fill these balloons as much as you can and then exhale. This exercises your diaphragm, sending a message to your brain that tells it to calm down, which then in return, tells the rest of your body to do the same. Deep breathing exercises have mental benefits as well as physical health benefits.
Do this 3 to 5 times, then start affirmations with each exhale. At this point, you can resume normal or slightly deeper than normal breathing, open your eyes, and continue your routine, just to save time if you’d like. Here are some examples of what I like to tell myself:
- “Today was successful.”
- “I did good today.”
- List your achievements of the day
- “I liked … about today.”
- “I like … about myself.”
- “I’m a good wife because…”
- “I’m a good mom because…”
- “I love my life.”
- “I’m grateful for…”
- “I love my husband so much.”
- “I love my kids so much”
- “I find joy in serving them.”
- “I am satisfied with my life.”
- “I take time to take care of myself.”
- “I am grateful to be at this point in my life.”
- “I am healing.”
- “I am okay.”
- “I am happy.”
- “I am looking forward to the future that I am creating.”
- Tell yourself that you can handle whatever hardship you’re dealing with right now
- “I am optimistic about the future.”
- State your intentions for the next day, like “Tomorrow will be a good day.” , “I will have a positive outlook tomorrow.” , “I will be patient with my kids tomorrow.” …
I could seriously go on and on. These things change every day and I think you’ll be surprised at how many things you can think of. Say these out loud, even if it’s just a whisper.
Even if it feels like today was a bad day, you’ll be able to find some positives to help you end the day on a good note instead of a bad one. Doing this improves my mood greatly.
When any negative thoughts come up, acknowledge them and recenter yourself in those slow, deep breaths as soon as possible. This isn’t the time for that. This is your time. You can take care of these things tomorrow.
There are also some really great guided meditations on YouTube for sleep, relaxation, anxiety, positive energy, you name it (try to find one without ads in the middle, lol).
Use essential oils
Essential oils are so powerful! If you’ve used them before, you know.
Find one that you love and that relaxes you for bedtime. Lavender is perfect. I also really love the Serenity blend by DoTerra. It smells amazing and I sleep so well whenever I use it.
Valerian oil is another really good one to promote restful sleep, but it smells, um… interesting. If you can get past the smell, it is very effective. My husband actually adds a valerian root extract to a drink or there are capsules you can take before bed to avoid the smell if it bothers you too much.
There are a few different ways that you can use essential oils. I either diffuse them or apply them to my feet. I’ll massage Serenity all over both of my feet, focusing on the tip of my big toe, where the brain is located on reflexology charts. This is so relaxing!
I have also dropped some essential oils in my bath, which has also been very effective in helping me relax and reap the many benefits of the oils but I do recommend doing some research on how exactly to do this so as to not irritate your skin.
Summary
Well mommas, these are my best tips and tricks for a truly relaxing bedtime routine that will help you really hit that reset button, ready to live your best life with your sweet babes. They need a healthy mommy. It’s the best thing we can give them, so invest in taking care of yourself.
Of course, feel free to adjust it however you want. You can add things like reading a book, brewing an herbal tea, using a special bedtime lotion or skincare products that make you feel especially refreshed, etc.
This routine has been huge for me and I really hope it will be huge for you too. Your wellbeing is so worth the attention and energy and these are some simple steps you can take to feel more balance in your life.
All my love to you. Until next time.
